Riding the MAX = Lame to the MAX

Posted in 'I like to complain.' by L-Dawg @ Jun 4, 2007

MAXtrain

I can’t stand riding the MAX to work. BJ, you said it wasn’t crowded and that you almost always get a seat! Psh. Probability of sitting? 15%. Here are the top 5 worst things about the MAX:

  1. All surfaces are greasy/dirty/disgusting. Yuck.
  2. When someone smells, you smell it.
  3. When someone talks on their phone, or talks about their hand-made Indian shirt, or says how “freakin’ sweaty” they are, you get to hear every word of it.
  4. People who bring their bikes on. Dude, you realize there was barely enough room to squeeze YOU on the train, and now you’re moving 4 people out to fit your BIKE? Here’s an idea: RIDE IT!
  5. The people who will squeeze in, NO MATTER WHAT. I do not want your crotch all up against my body, let alone your stinky smoky breath!

That’s it for now.

4 Comments »

  1. Luke, Luke, Luke all those things you’ve listed are what diversity is all about. Now what you should do is name 5 things you like about the Max. And there are defenses for all of the above:

    1. wear gloves, stand
    2. chew really strong gum, relocate, wear a Dr. mask
    3. get an iPod (first solve your earbud issue)
    4. bikes are awesome! practice being accommodating
    5. I’m sure there are crotches you wouldn’t mind

    Remember all those people are saving the planet. 🙂
    Kudos to you for riding as well!

    Comment by katie — June 4, 2007 @ 6:19 pm

  2. Dear Katie,

    Thank you for taking the time to respond. Here are my replies:

    1. I do stand, but I have to either lean on a dirty surface or hold onto a dirty surface. Wearing gloves will only make my gloves dirty instead of my hands. Something gets dirty no matter what.

    2. I do chew strong gum. If I can still smell them, they must be really bad. Relocation generally doesn’t do anything more than put you next to a different funky smell. Wear a Dr. mask? They’re called Dr. masks for a reason. I’m not a doctor.

    3. I have a music player and working headphones. These people are loud!!!

    4. Bikes are awesome. When you’re riding them. I’ve very accomodating — I’ve never kicked anyone with a bike off the MAX.

    5. Crotches that I wouldn’t mind are probably not located on the MAX.

    Note: You spelled “kudos” correctly…

    Comment by L-Dawg — June 7, 2007 @ 12:28 pm

  3. You forgot your list of positive things about the max.

    “Kudos” was for you—I learn.

    Comment by katie — June 7, 2007 @ 9:51 pm

  4. let’s face it…

    just remember, you can’t spell “suburbs” without BUS RUBS.

    sick.

    Comment by miss meyer — June 21, 2007 @ 7:47 pm

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